


they say eyes are the windows to the soul

by burke33



Category: f(x), kryber
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, One Shot Collection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2018-07-14 09:32:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7165709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burke33/pseuds/burke33
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a collection of Kryber one-shots I wrote back in late 2014. They were my first attempt at fanfic so.</p><p>Thanks for reading!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. don't ask, don't tell

**Author's Note:**

> This is a collection of Kryber one-shots I wrote back in 2014 when the Kryber well had gone pretty dry. It was almost my first attempt at fanfiction.  
> I'm basically just trying to get all my work transferred over here from AFF so. Enjoy?

Everyone knew.

Even if she didn’t dress or act the way she did, everyone would have known. Not that they’d say or do anything. As far as they’re concerned, it’s not their place. They wouldn’t throw a colleague under the bus so easily.

They all have their secrets.

Part of it is also that she’s so likeable; easy to joke with, always the first to greet and thank the staffs at their schedules, always willing to lend a helping hand whether it’s to a trainee or a mere stranger. It was basically impossible to dislike her. She was a pure, loyal, good-hearted person, a rare find in this business where the unspoken rule is trust no one. Those qualities held more weight than sexual orientation.

That’s why, as Jessica watched Amber sling an arm over her little sister’s shoulder and lean over to whisper something to Krystal that ended up with her doubled over laughing and a genuine smile on her face, she decided even if everyone knew, it didn’t really matter.

The younger Jung didn’t say much when it came to her and Amber’s relationship but she didn’t need to in order for Jessica to see how much Krystal adored the older girl. Romantic or platonic, Jessica wasn't sure, but it only mattered that she could see, through Amber’s actions and the way she looked at Krystal, the feeling was mutual. Jessica knows better than most how uncomfortable Krystal is with showing affection to those outside her family and especially while on camera but it never seemed to happen with Amber.

Jessica wouldn’t be asking or telling anytime about this anytime soon.

_"After all, Soojung-ah could do a lot worse."_


	2. Illusions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's always been an illusion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Amber-centric and deals with body image.
> 
> I wanted to try a different take on Amber. I know she's always seen as the super-optimistic and positive one so I thought it'd be interesting to explore the other side of her.

**_il-lu-sion (n): a deceptive appearance or impression_ **

 

Illusions are what the entertainment industry is built on and I’ll be damned if mine isn’t one of the best out there. It’s so good that I even almost manage to fool myself sometimes.

Almost.

“Optimistic, self-assured, laid back, easy going, up beat.” These are just a few of the words that always seem to be associated with me. Sounds like a great person right?

There are two sides to every coin.

I mean, sometimes the difference is so drastic that I feel like I’m two completely separate people; or that they’re so mixed together I can’t tell where one ends and the other begins. Even around my members, these four girls who have become my world, the illusion never fully fades. They still have expectations for me; otherwise the questions come and I don’t have any answers for them.

By the time I’m finally alone in my room the mask slips off almost immediately. The lips that have been pinned upward all day drop and my shoulders slump. I kick off my hightops with more force than necessary and yank off my shirt to toss into the laundry crate in my closet. 

I go to shut the closet door but stop when the image my full length mirror that hangs on the inside catches my attention. I try to avoid mirrors as much as I can but being an idol, staring at a mirror kind of comes with the territory but rarely do I ever actually look because it’s always the same routine.

I start up at my face and work my way down, making a mental list of all the flaws. For starters, my llama face. I don’t even remember how or why the comparison started but once it did, it stuck. I’ve tried to make the best of it, even incorporating it into my SNS names with no success. It still makes my stomach churn.

Cheeks that are too big, flat as a board, no curves to speak of. Not that I particularly want them but sometimes I feel that if I looked more “womanly” I wouldn’t feel like such a freak…stuck in this whole ‘not quite a girl yet not quite a boy’ space. It’s marketed as part of my charm but to me it’s anything but that.

A cold pair of hands on my shoulders shatters my concentration. I tear my eyes away from the mirror only to lock eyes with the owner of the hands.

Krystal.

For a girl that appears so cold to others, the warmth and affection in her eyes makes it almost painful to meet her gaze. I break eye contact unable to suppress the feeling of shame that comes with her seeing me in such a state of weakness. Looking down and staring at the floor I feel her hands trail down my sides and, upon meeting my waist, they reach around to secure me in her embrace. I don’t fight it. She holds me tight to her, lips pressed to my bare shoulder, and doesn’t say a word even as the hot tears start trickling down my face. 

She asks no questions because she knows I don’t have the answers. The warmth she exudes melts away any remnants of the illusions and when I look into the mirror again, all I see is Amber and Krystal.

No tricks. No illusions. Just us.


	3. To Remind Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amber is worried about Krystal and takes it upon herself to remind her that she's not alone.

Amber would do anything for Krystal.

People might say Krystal is taking advantage of Amber's natural kindness but the tomboy isn't the kind of person who can be forced into doing something. Even if she was, no one wins when faced with the youngest Jung's aegyo.

Amber's goal is simple enough. All she wants to do is remind Krystal that she doesn't have to do it alone. Amber excels at worrying and it only gets worse whenever they start promoting because while Krystal and Sulli always start out strong, it doesn't take long before the whole deal starts to wear on them. Even if they don't acknowledge it, she knows they're both acutely aware of the criticisms thrown their way; the alleged boredness on stage, half-hearted performances, and the constant nit-picking only netizens are capable of.

Sulli can tough it out for the most part but Krystal doesn't have the same thick skin. She draws into herself as promotions go on and it gets to the point where her eyes are a constant mix of pain and exhaustion. Amber knows at this point words aren't enough. Actions speak louder than words and she along with Victoria, Luna, and Sulli do their best to give Krystal something to smile about; to give her strength.

Luna orders Krystal's favorite food and has it delivered to her film set with a note complimenting her latest episode and reminding her to eat.

When Victoria comes home late from her own schedule one night she finds Krystal sprawled out on the couch, still in her clothes, in a deep slumber. The tall Chinese girl simply picks her up bridal style, carries her to her room and tucks her in with a small smile while making sure to set her alarm so she'd be able to wake the blonde haired girl in time for her next schedule. She kisses her forehead before heading off to her bedroom missing the way Krystal's lips curl into a contented smile.

The other members try to understand but they don't know what it's truly like; to have your every gesture, smile, and action thrown back in your face, no matter how sincere, with claims of selfishness and arrogance. But Sulli does and it's Sulli who holds Krystal tightly, when it finally gets to be too much, stroking her hair and murmuring, "You're not selfish or a bitch. Don't listen to them. We love you so much." Only when Sulli is sure Krystal is asleep does she let her own tears fall. She wouldn't wish this kind of pain on her worst enemy.

However Amber is the one who throws herself wholeheartedly into her attempts at making Krystal smile.

She looks up lame jokes in English to tell her even though she knows Krystal will groan and roll her eyes. When she notices Krystal is particularly quiet, she amps up the dorky llama act to keep the attention on her and off of Krystal. She writes Krystal notes constantly. When Amber heard how much Krystal liked writing and expressed how she's more comfortable conveying her feelings that way, she had taken to leaving little notes in Krystal's bag or on her mirror. They range from a simple "hwaiting!" complete with smiley face to compliments like, "your smile lights up my world" or silly doodles. It might be a little overboard but as long as it makes Krystal smile, Amber doesn't really care.

She knows it's working by the way Krystal's mood gradually improves even when there aren't cameras around. She laughs and plays with Sulli, the two of them giggling like mad over god knows what. She whines good-naturedly to Victoria who responds with a light pinch to the cheek and a smack on the butt as she warns her to get out of her damn kitchen if she wants edible food tonight. Luna confides to Amber that her and Krystal have been talking late at night when neither could sleep and apparently Krystal is becoming much more open about discussing her issues even going as far as to ask Luna for her advice.

Amber knows she succeeded when Krystal came barreling at her after she has just walked into the dorm and squeezed her so tight Amber thinks she heard a rib crack.

"Krys...can't...breathe...oxygen?"

The tension immediately lessened but Krystal still had her arms wrapped around Amber's waist and face buried in her shoulder. Amber's arms naturally returned the hug and, for a minute or two they simply stood there, a comfortable silence surrounding them.

When Krystal finally released Amber from her grip, they shifted into a one arm hug so Amber's arm was still around Krystal's shoulder.

"As far as hugs go, that was a definite 10/10. Would reccommend." Amber laughed. She removed her arm from Krystal's shoulder and glanced down to see one of her fists balled up with a small piece of yellow paper sticking out. She nudged the other girl's arm. "What's that in your hand?" she asked curiously. Sheepishly Krystal unclenched her fist to show Amber the piece of paper.

Realization dawned as she realized what it was. It was a doodle of a llama with a baseball cap and a cartoon bubble saying "Como se llama?" that she had scribbled real quick before leaving for her schedule. She left it for Krystal a couple days ago not thinking anything of it. Krystal closed her fist and with her head still down quietly said, "I've kept every one. It's the one thing I always look forward to in the mornings. I look at them sometimes..when I feel sad and they make me smile."

She hesitated and looked embarrassed but continued, "Will you keep leaving notes for me?" The grin on Amber's face could have lit up LA for a week. She pulled the younger girl back into a bear hug and murmured into her hair, "Anything to keep you smiling, Krys." before dropping a light kiss on the top of her head.

Yeah, Amber would do anything for Krystal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Amber has always struck me as a very selfless person who puts others' happiness before her own. This is what I imagine she'd be like with Krystal.


	4. Forgive Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amber realizes just how much she has been neglecting Krystal after she watches the finale of Jessica and Krystal.

Amber couldn't believe what she was hearing.

She sat cross-legged at the head of her bed, back leaning against the head board and eyes glued to the 13" laptop screen. She watched the scene unfold, heart hurting with every beat.

 

_“I had a lot on my mind these days…” Krystal sniffled, trying to hold back her tears. Her sister looked back at her, her eyes just as watery as she murmured, “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you”. “Seriously, no one…no one would listen to me" Krystal's voice choked up as she leaned into Jessica._

 

The red haired girl paused the video when she couldn't watch it anymore. She never knew Krystal felt that way...but the more she thought about it, the more she realized that she couldn't have known. She had been spending so much time lately away from the other members save for when their new album came out. Between filming A Song For You and hanging out with Min, Hyoyeon, and Jia along with her other friends, Amber realized how absent she had been.

She hung her head, drawing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. She would have never dreamed that Krystal had been feeling like this and the guilt only grew as Amber recalled the phone calls and texts that she would get from Krystal and, thinking it wasn't anything important, wouldn't bother to call the blonde girl back and kept her texts back brief and to the point. With the speculation about sudden stop of Red Light promotions and Sulli taking a leave of absence, broken from the constant barrage of hurtful comments, Amber had barely spared a thought towards Krystal.

She hauled herself out of bed and made her way quietly to Krystal's room. She carefully peeked into the room to see the now brown haired girl fast asleep in her bed. Amber was loathed to wake her, at least aware of how hard it is for her to sleep these days. While debating with herself, the lump under the covers shifted and a groggy voice came out from underneath.

"If you're gonna stand there all night, at least shut the door so the light doesn't come in."

Amber started and, without thinking, did as the other girl asked. She closed the door behind her with a soft click and made her way over to Krystal's bed. After hesitating for a moment, she sat down on the side and continued to gaze at Krystal with only thoughts of how she had let her down running through her head.

"Oh my god stop. I can hear you thinking from under here." The lump shifted again and from underneath the covers popped up Krystal.

With bleary eyes, she looked at Amber and asked, "Is there a reason you woke me up at" she checked her phone, "2:30 in the morning when I have to be up in three hours?" Finding herself unable to speak, Amber pulled the younger Jung up out of bed and brought her into a tight hug. She felt the other girl stiffen at the sudden contact but then gradually relax into Amber's arms. Krystal's arms lazily came up to wrap around Amber's waist and rested her head on the tomboy's chest.

A few moments had passed when a soft voice came from below. "You saw the last episode huh?". Amber couldn't do anything but nod slightly and squeeze Krystal even tighter.

"Am, it's fine. I'm not mad if that's what you're thinking."

"How can you not be? I pretty much abandoned you." Amber struggled to keep her voice from cracking. "I am so...so sorry Krys. Fucking hell I'm an idiot. I should have called you back and took the time to respond to your texts and oh my god I am an asshole for not paying closer attention to how you were feeling holy shit-OW!"

Amber let out a yelp as her rant was cut off by a hard pinch to her waist. "What was that for?"

"It was either that or a kiss to shut you up".

Amber felt her cheeks burn and heart rate increase even though she knew Krystal was only joking. _"Thank god for it being dark."_ she thought. She was brought back down to earth as Krystal released her arms from Amber to look up at the older girl. "I knew that would get your attention." poking the other girl's stomach.

The small grin on her face quickly faded though. "Honestly, it's fine. Yes, I was mad but I got over it. I had a little too much to drink that night and over exaggerated things." She laid back down and rolled over to face away from Amber. "Besides it's not like I would have told you had you asked in the first place. You know I hate talking about my feelings."

Amber knew. Sometimes the younger girl kept herself locked up tighter than Fort Knox when it came to feelings. She cautiously moved closer. "That doesn't mean me basically ignoring you is okay. It makes me a horrible person."

The younger girl groaned loudly and reached her hand back to smack Amber in the stomach. She doubled over, wincing at the force.

 _"Goddamn, has she been working out or something?"_ Amber thought with a grimace.

"Oh my god okay. Amber. I promise I'll talk to you about this. Just not right now because the gates of hell opening and swallowing the world would not get me up in the morning if I don't get more sleep. So either shut up and get out of my room or get your ass over here and cuddle with me."

It took no time for Amber to decide as she scooted closer to other girl and held her from behind. She felt Krystal scoot back a little to press more against Amber's chest and was surprised when Krystal secured Amber's hold on her by placing her own arms on top and squeezing. "Go to sleep you worrywart. We'll talk in the morning. Promise." Krystal took her pinky and linked it with Amber's, sealing the deal. It wasn't long after Amber heard the younger girl's breathing even out and only then was she able to shut her eyes and took comfort in knowing that even if she wasn't there for Krystal before, she was now. And that's all that mattered.


End file.
